WAURIKA — Hard times are on us!
I may write a song using those words. Well, maybe not — I have a hard enough time jest writin’.
But you can rest assured, the Prairie Dogs Incorporated Guaranteed (PIG.) project is underway. I have had a long and serious talk with the Senator about some funding from that (FAST.) giveaway program sponsored by the government of this nation that is greatly in debt and greatly apt to stay that way for a while.
Oh, FAST stands for “Funding All Stupidly Transferred.” No one but a few nitwits know where and why it all went or who got it, but, he has said that if and when some comes to the surface, he will grab some for this profound project.
I laid out some tremendous marketing projects for PIG that could sweep the nation because of its money grubbing ability.
You ask, “What senator?”
Well, he is well known by all for his very sound ideas and moral standing. He has asked to remain anonymous due to the vast and far-reaching affects of this business. One of my bankers said the same thing due to banking inspectors and regulations. Well, if it’s all that difficult, what happened on Wall Street?
Talking to the esteemed board of directors of PIG (there’s only three at this time, but the fourth member’s wife found out and he had to resign quickly), we have developed a rather sound marketing scheme.
For those of you who are new readers, but would like to venture into the great unknown with a few dollars, here’s what PIG is all about.
Prairie dogs are the great state of Oklahoma’s vast untapped resource. It’s time we stood up and sung the song of greatness about those doggy dollar signs in the ground.
We, the bored of defectors ... I mean, board of directors ... have come up with Prairie dog fur coats and prairie dog meat and we’re looking for something to do with prairie dog fleas, which is a marketable item that we need to get rid of first. All across America you see those great billboards touting, “The Great Flea Market,” and they are waiting for us. We could absolutely flood the market if we were not careful.
Those beautiful brown prairie dog babies are actually a blond color when you collect all the brown fleas. We have found that it is not difficult to take the fleas from the fur, due to their jumping ability. They love to get close to thin-skinned humans — very close!
We have talked to a few about the possibility of marketing our coats, and they believe these coats would be the only ones that PITA would not picket against.
I haven’t seen too many PITA people laying across a prairie dog hole to stop a badger or snake from getting lunch. As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen anything lay across a prairie dog mound. You know the old saying, “ Lay down with the Prairie dogs, take home their fleas.”
Prairie dog meat is very nutritious and non-fattening. (How many fat coyotes have you ever seen?) There is not a lot to a prairie dog, but, once you skin it and throw the bone away, there is some meat there. And even if they look fat, all that running keeps the fat content down.
Prairie dogs run from morning to evening trying to avoid hawks, eagles, coyotes, badgers, weasels, snakes, humans, four-wheelers, humans, guns, humans and government, but we still have a lot of them.
Opinion
PIG trudges on toward reality
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