Amidst fiery rhetoric, some civility exists

Jeff Kaley

WAURIKA — A few days ago, I was browsing through the shelves of a local bookstore, when I came upon a section with subject matter so incendiary, there should have been a disclaimer sign reading: Hot books, touch at your own risk.

Yeah, I was in the political books section.

A couple decades ago, I dubbed the era American society was entering to be the Age of Angst. And looking over the titles of the new and used books in the “Politics” section, it was easy to see anger and incivility are alive and well in 2009.

The book covers just seemed to bristle with animosity.

There was Keith Olbermann’s 2006 manifesto, The Worst Person in the World And 202 Strong Candidates, nestled beside Glenn Beck’s newest tome, Arguing With Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds & Big Government.

(Alphabetical order is obviously not maintained in the “Politics” section, nor is civil order too high on the priority list.)

Ann Coulter’s most recent work, Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault On America, was nestled against Coulter’s best-seller from a couple years ago, Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism.

There was little doubt what type of rant can be found in Chris Willis’ The I Hate Republicans Reader: Why the GOP is Totally Wrong About Everything. And of course, there were volumes and volumes of scribblings by the Holy Trinity of Conservatism — Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Hannity.

One thing I noticed was a trend in political writing, which mandates that titles be almost a chapter in length. The winner of that competition has to be Arianna Huffington’s The Right is Wrong: How the Lunatic Fringe Hijacked America, Shredded The Constitution, and Made Us All Less Safe (And what you need to know to end the madness).

(Whew! Huffington must have been overcome by “writer’s cramp” just by typing that title!)

Anyway, I was about to go rushing out of the “Politics” section before my eyeballs burst into flames, when I happened to notice a used paperback with a title that seemed out of place. It was a thin, humble little volume entitled, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct.

Obviously, this book had been filed in the wrong section, but I couldn’t resist checking it out.

Although I wasn’t familiar with the author, P.M. Forni, thumbing through his book was a gust of fresh air that cut through the smoke that billowed from other volumes in the “Politics” section.

“Civility” — such a forgotten and abused concept here in the Age of Angst. I think others out there feel the same way; surely I’m not alone in being weary of the seething, in-your-face blather that passes for public debate and discussion these days — and not just in the political arena.

Dr. P.M. Forni, a literature professor at Johns Hopkins University, had apparently reached that point when he authored Choosing Civility in 2002.

Forni revives the basics of civil interaction: “pay attention when others speak,” “accept and give praise,” “speak kindly,” “respect others’ opinions” and so forth. His 25 rules of civil conduct were once considered just obvious forms of etiquette. But when it comes to etiquette in the public square, maybe nothing is obvious these days.

Choosing Civility is also filled with pertinent quotations, and here’s one that goes straight to the heart of the matter:

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength” — Eric Hoffer.

Forni has become a crusader for civility, and just this year, he reinforced the notion that there are ways to defuse rude situations by publishing a second book, The Civility Solution.

Together with Choosing Civility, Forni’s books are a reminder that we do have a choice in how we live as a society and that, when it comes to restoring civility, we can’t fight fire with fire — no matter how tempting that might be.

And now the subject has been breached, there’s more to say about what we say and how we say it. With your indulgence, I’ll say something about that when we gather here next time.

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